It’s Wednesday but I keep thinking it is Tuesday. My mind is running in about ten different directions. I’m sure you know the feeling. I’m sure you also know how stressful change can be. Yes, change it is our life blood but it is also the thing we dread the most.
A lot has happened in the past few weeks. I got rid of my clunker truck and now have a shiny, almost new car. I feel like a big girl. It’s the perfect car to go with my new job. It’s a big girl job where I work in an office but I’ll still be immersed in the horse world. Sorry, you can’t get rid of me that easily.
All of these are positive changes, but at this moment in time I am freaking out because I am a perfectionist and things aren’t going as smoothly as they should be. I feel a bit like this horse:
Look at me I’m hot stuff and then, yep, completely knock myself out.
I just don’t know what I am doing. Am I being hard headed by keeping my horses? Would they be better off with someone else? I mean I don’t have the time or energy for them and today is one of those days where I am questioning my dreams (you guessed it- I can’t pay my bills). Such is the life of a horse addicted, college educated woman. Or maybe, I’m just crazy.
Check back because I’ll be posting updated photos of my girls soon.
Here’s an aside- I am stressed because I have no hay for my horses and I can’t pay their board. They need more shavings and I don’t get paid until Friday but that paycheck is already gone because I need to pay the other half of my down payment on my car. So I bought scratch tickets with my last few dollars and well, my luck held and I lost that money. It’s days like today that I wonder why I try. It’s days like today that I wish I had someone walking this path with me. It’s stressful being alone because at the end of the day. All you have is you.